One afternoon at the age of 11, I awoke from unconsciousness in the backseat of my mother's wrecked car.  I remember the waking up itself feeling like being hit with a baseball bat, like being jarred awake.  My glasses had been knocked from my face and so the contents of the car were just a blur of their real selves.  I could hear my sister in the front passenger seat moaning (she had broken ribs) and could vaguely make out the form of my mother in the driver's seat, her still hand pressed against the steering wheel. 
    I remember the moment I recognized her death, the deepest psychological wound I have ever had and (I hope) will ever have.  I remember also instinctively reaching down to my left leg, below the knee and recognizing the physical wound there where the metal hinge of my mother's seat had gouged into my skin.  That day was the single most defining moment of my life... and it was not until today that I recognized the Chiron archetype at work in it.
   
Where is This Coming From?

    For the past few days for seemingly no reason my mother (and her loss) have been on my mind.  On Tuesday I was watching The Talk while making preparations to visit my sister and other family members for the holidays.  The ladies were talking about how they either had or did not have (just Sharon Osbourne here) a supportive mother figure in their lives growing up.  It was an unexpected reminder of my own mother's death early in my life, and the fact that I have not had her in my life to provide support and nurturing, that I have had to learn how to nurture myself instead.
    I brought up my transits for the moment of her death, which I had definitely looked at before (when I was just beginning to study astrology) but this time I found better insight.  I'm one of those astrologers who likes to say that transits don't "happen to us," but that knowing our transits we can best direct their energies.  Well, sometimes transits do happen to us.  My mother's death most certainly happened to me, in the form of a violent and unexpected car accident.  At the moment it occurred, Uranus and Neptune (transiting my 11th) were conjunct my natal Mars (11th) and Moon (12th) in Capricorn.  This is quite an apt description, I thought.  A car accident, sudden (Uranus) takes my mother (Moon) in a way that leaves both my sister and I with bodily injury (Mars) and puts me into the hospital for 2 months where I underwent surgery twice (Neptune).  It was cathartic but painful and confusing to see it all spelled out so plainly in those astrological transits. 

Recognizing the Wound
   
    Still, it wasn't until today that Chiron's influence became obvious to me.  Perhaps it's because Chiron and Neptune are transiting conjunct lately that Chiron "disappears" so easily.  ;)  Neptune likes to hide and obscure, after all.  But today, just a few hours ago actually, I happened to think again of the car accident... (thanks to this article at the Signs of Potential astrology blog).  I was thinking not only of the accident but also of generational wounding/healing in my family when the image of me in that car, at the age of 11, with my vision made Neptunian by the loss of my glasses, reaching down and and recognizing my own wound.  In the moments I thought back to that realization, I also recognized Chiron in my mother's death. I looked at my transits for the day of my mother's death again and realized that Uranus and Neptune were also making a trine to my natal Chiron while transiting Chiron was trining my natal Mercury/MC conjunction.  (Makes sense that I'm writing this all out for the public to read). 
    But I still wondered, "Why is this revelation coming now of all times?" Astrology holds the answer, and it is that the recent New Moon at 13 Sagittarius (direct on December 5, 2010) was making a transit quincunx to my natal Chiron. My recognition of this wound needed some adjustment, and this lunation cycle brought it to the fore!  Not only that, but at the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on Tuesday, Dec. 21 the eclipsed moon was in Trine to the Chiron/Neptune conjunction we've been having for such a long time. 

Your Wound Would Like Some Ointment!

    Because of the nature of an eclipse already indicating something "hidden," along with the aspects it was making to Neptune (which likes to hide/obscure/blur out the truth) I think many of us actually might be having similar revelations lately that our wounds are perhaps not as neatly healed as we have liked to pretend they were.  With Sagittarius and Gemini involved, communication about our wounds could be very healing for us.  We might prefer, especially this time of year when we're visiting with family, to just sweep it all under the rug, but compassionate, open and honest communication about our wounds can actually be an excellent salve.  As with Chiron, sometimes our wounds may seem that they will never heal, or that they'll heal but leave scars behind to remind us of their pain.  Whether it heals or not, a wound needs its dressings, its ointments.  It needs attention, otherwise the wound can deepen.  So be compassionate for your own wounds as this lunation cycle winds to a close (and even for several months afterward, as lunar eclipses can have long-lasting effects) and be mindful of other people's wounds as well.  :)

If you'd like further reading on how to heal Chironic wounds, I highly recommend this comprehensive article:  Chiron: Working with the Myth: Interpretation of the "Psychic Wound" in Astrological Analysis.

Zane Stein's explanation of Chiron in Astrology is also quite helpful if you're wanting to explore Chiron's meaning in your life.

Finally, you may want to read the highly acclaimed book by Barbara Hand Clow, Chiron: Rainbow Bridge Between the Inner and Outer Planets. 

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