Lydia's Reading: Family Relationships
Posted by Gabby Turner on Saturday, January 3, 2009 Under: Family Relationships
Lydia asked: My parents are disappointed with the divorce and the fact that I am with someone new that they don't completely approve of. They are strict and will completely freak out if they know that I am already living with him. I haven't spoken to them since. What should I do? How should I go about it?
My Response:
I pulled initially 5 of wands, the Devil, and 8 of Cups.
There will be conflict with your parents, but you do have to get it over with, and the argument that may ensue will be frustrating, but not volcanic. From some of the other cards I pulled, I'm sensing that it's especially important that you are honest with your mother about all this, and it might be better to tell her about it first. She might help you figure out how to work through all of this with your father.
I'm also sensing that you should not dwell on this when you talk to your mother about it. Get it out in the open, and either have an excuse to leave soon after or be able to change the subject to something not as emotionall draining.
I would not introduce your partner to them until after they already know about him (that's probably just common sense, but it's also what I'm getting from the tarot).
Linda's Response to the Reading, and Follow-Up Question:
Gabby just one question. My parents do already know about him; that he's outside of my race but they don't know I am already living with him; this is something that is frowned upon by my religion. I dont intend to introduce him to them as yet. I was told by my mother that my father would not like to see him until he converts which my love is able to do. What's your sense of that?
My Follow-Up Reading:
As far as your father's feelings...I pulled 10 of wands, Knight of Swords, and 5 of Wands (this one is showing up a second time).
The message here seems to be that in order to build mature, long-lasting relationships with both your parents and your partner, you will have to have these converations. It looks like you've already been using your mother as a sort of go-between to gauge what your father is feeling about the situation, and that's probably wise to continue doing for awhile. They do both need to know how you feel about the situation, that your partner is living with you, and that he cannot convert.
You will have to bear the burden of this. You will have to defend your relationship. The five of wands yet again indicates to me that this is not going to be a volcanic situation, but there will certainly be conflict (no surprise!). It's not the kind of conflict that cannot be overcome.
I also asked if your parents would ever accept him enough to meet him. I pulled the Knight of Pentacles and the Page of Pentacles. Neither of them is going to rush into seeing him, but they are both loyal to you. The will not break off ties with you over this. But they are definitely conservative people and will not accept newness in their lives quickly. I feel that in time, they will be open to meeting him, but you will have to gain ground slowly. Your mother is more open to it than your father, as you already indicated, but even she would not be gung ho about meeting him. More than anything, it's probably just scary for them. But they will continue to be there for you, conflict or no.
It is probably better for all concerned that it go slowly, anyway. You need to build your relationship with your partner before they will understand how important he is to your life, and having him face the unwelcome arms of your parents too soon could be really hard for him, and hard for your growth as a couple. I would say to keep him informed of how your parents feel, but don't rush either parties about trying to get them to meet each other in person.
When I pulled cards about how this is for your partner, I got Queen of Pentacles, the Moon, and Justice.
He will stand by you. He understands how difficult this is for you, although it is difficult forhim as well. He knows that you are from a conservative background and that even though you are no longer so conservative yourself, you are not the type to just abandon your parents and not care at all how they feel about your life. He respects that you are concerned with maintaining your relationship with your parents. He is willing to do this the right way...to take the necessary time to make it all work.
Anyway... it will be okay! My very conservative parents just accepted that my sister got pregnant out of wedlock with a person of a different race and nationality. They don't know her that he's of a different religion, but I expect they'll accept that too when the time comes. These things happen all the time, and because your parents do love you, they will learn to accept your other loves.
My Response:
I pulled initially 5 of wands, the Devil, and 8 of Cups.
There will be conflict with your parents, but you do have to get it over with, and the argument that may ensue will be frustrating, but not volcanic. From some of the other cards I pulled, I'm sensing that it's especially important that you are honest with your mother about all this, and it might be better to tell her about it first. She might help you figure out how to work through all of this with your father.
I'm also sensing that you should not dwell on this when you talk to your mother about it. Get it out in the open, and either have an excuse to leave soon after or be able to change the subject to something not as emotionall draining.
I would not introduce your partner to them until after they already know about him (that's probably just common sense, but it's also what I'm getting from the tarot).
Linda's Response to the Reading, and Follow-Up Question:
Gabby just one question. My parents do already know about him; that he's outside of my race but they don't know I am already living with him; this is something that is frowned upon by my religion. I dont intend to introduce him to them as yet. I was told by my mother that my father would not like to see him until he converts which my love is able to do. What's your sense of that?
My Follow-Up Reading:
As far as your father's feelings...I pulled 10 of wands, Knight of Swords, and 5 of Wands (this one is showing up a second time).
The message here seems to be that in order to build mature, long-lasting relationships with both your parents and your partner, you will have to have these converations. It looks like you've already been using your mother as a sort of go-between to gauge what your father is feeling about the situation, and that's probably wise to continue doing for awhile. They do both need to know how you feel about the situation, that your partner is living with you, and that he cannot convert.
You will have to bear the burden of this. You will have to defend your relationship. The five of wands yet again indicates to me that this is not going to be a volcanic situation, but there will certainly be conflict (no surprise!). It's not the kind of conflict that cannot be overcome.
I also asked if your parents would ever accept him enough to meet him. I pulled the Knight of Pentacles and the Page of Pentacles. Neither of them is going to rush into seeing him, but they are both loyal to you. The will not break off ties with you over this. But they are definitely conservative people and will not accept newness in their lives quickly. I feel that in time, they will be open to meeting him, but you will have to gain ground slowly. Your mother is more open to it than your father, as you already indicated, but even she would not be gung ho about meeting him. More than anything, it's probably just scary for them. But they will continue to be there for you, conflict or no.
It is probably better for all concerned that it go slowly, anyway. You need to build your relationship with your partner before they will understand how important he is to your life, and having him face the unwelcome arms of your parents too soon could be really hard for him, and hard for your growth as a couple. I would say to keep him informed of how your parents feel, but don't rush either parties about trying to get them to meet each other in person.
When I pulled cards about how this is for your partner, I got Queen of Pentacles, the Moon, and Justice.
He will stand by you. He understands how difficult this is for you, although it is difficult forhim as well. He knows that you are from a conservative background and that even though you are no longer so conservative yourself, you are not the type to just abandon your parents and not care at all how they feel about your life. He respects that you are concerned with maintaining your relationship with your parents. He is willing to do this the right way...to take the necessary time to make it all work.
Anyway... it will be okay! My very conservative parents just accepted that my sister got pregnant out of wedlock with a person of a different race and nationality. They don't know her that he's of a different religion, but I expect they'll accept that too when the time comes. These things happen all the time, and because your parents do love you, they will learn to accept your other loves.
In : Family Relationships
Tags: family parents religious differences romantic love communication
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